The OJ Trial as Told by Dr. Seuss

Lowell Grattan

I DID NOT KILL MY LOVELY WIFE.
I DID NOT SLASH HER WITH A KNIFE.
I DID NOT BONK HER ON THE HEAD.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT SHE WAS DEAD.

I STAYED HOME THAT FATEFUL NIGHT.
I TOOK A CAB, THEN TOOK A FLIGHT.
THE BAG I HAD WAS JUST FOR ME.
MY BAG! MY BAG! HEY, LEAVE IT BE.

WHEN I CAME HOME, I HAD A GASH.
MY HAND WAS CUT FROM BROKEN GLASS.
I CUT MY HAND ON BROKEN GLASS.
A BROKEN GLASS DID CAUSE THAT GASH.

I HAVE NOTHING, NOTHING TO HIDE.
MY FRIEND, HE TOOK ME FOR A RIDE.

DID YOU TAKE THIS PERSON'S LIFE?
DID YOU DO IT WITH A KNIFE?

I DID NOT DO IT WITH A KNIFE.
I DID NOT, COULD NOT KILL MY WIFE!
I DID NOT DO THIS AWFUL CRIME.
I COULD NOT, WOULD NOT ANYTIME.

DID YOU HIT HER FROM ABOVE?
DID YOU DROP THIS BLOODY GLOVE?

I DID NOT HIT HER FROM ABOVE.
I CANNOT EVEN WEAR THAT GLOVE.
I DID NOT DO IT WITH A KNIFE.
I DID NOT, COULD NOT KILL MY WIFE.
I DID NOT DO THIS AWFUL CRIME.
I COULD NOT, WOULD NOT, ANYTIME.

AND NOW I'M FREE, I CAN RETURN
TO MY HOUSE FOR WHICH I YEARN.
AND TO MY FAMILY WHOM I LOVE.
HEY NOW, I'M FREE - - GIVE BACK MY GLOVE!